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Saturday, June 4, 2011

Progressives and the New World Order

The time is somewhere in the third millennium.

The scene is The Peoples’ Congress, Hall of Justice, New World Government Building, Tierra del Fuego.  It
resembles the bar scene in Star Wars.  Thousands of vizier, poobahs, mullahs, and ministers of various levels of importance are present. 

A clerk brings forth a large scroll and begins to read: Article 3788214BTE amended version.  Proposal to discuss the recent outbreak of Khartoum Syndrome in the Parish of…

The Minister on Behalf of Oppressed and Bereaved Peoples, a self-appointed position, rises and trills for attention:  Hear me!  Hear me, or I will have Mullah Obama reconvene the Committee on Insufficient Pandering. 

A hushed silence follows.

The Minister shakes his sequined robe, adjusts his pince-nez, haughtily tosses a feather boa over his shoulder, and asks the assembled, how can we even think of discussing Khartoum Syndrome when
still at hand are the pressing needs of the Escrupulosovian people?  They yearn for justice because we have yet to redress the cultural insults against them contained in the racist language of the Treaty of Piltdown. 

An austere official resembling Bartleby the Scrivener rises and proclaims: We award the standard tribute of 2000 Appeasements to the Escrupulosovian people and one presentment of the Iron Cross of Martyrdom on Behalf of Others to the MBOBP, all rise. 

The assembly chants in unison: Appease the oppressed; death to oppressors! 

The clerk stands once more and begins to read Article 3788214BTE amended version.  Proposal to discuss the recent outbreak of Khartoum Syndrome in the Parish of Lordau in the Provence of…

The MBOBP jumps to his feet in protest:  Lordau?  Lordau shares a border with Fiente, where as you know, the oppressed people of Yahdapè await justice for the wrongs that they suffered in the Second War of Podrido.  I demand on behalf of…

The clerk, in his most obsequious tone, explains that at the risk offending your Omnipotence, I implore you to understand that it is widely recognized that Khartoum Syndrome has depleted the world’s oxygen supply to dangerous levels of… 

Excuse me, I am the Exalted Vizier in charge of Compensating Oppressed Peoples for Environmental Changes, and I believe that I have jurisdiction here.  When historically oppressed and voiceless peoples are not allowed to participate…

“And so it goes.”

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